Note from the Author
When I began to write this book I thought I would focus on behavior modification. I naively dreamed that if we could change the way young men thought and behaved on a daily basis, their lives and their families lives would become better. As I have matured and further studied and researched about what it means to be a man, a real man, I concluded that behavior modification is not a fulfilling way to bring about true lasting change.
While it might temporarily help a situation, it is only a bandaid fix for an injury that desperately needs surgery. What is needed is real life change, a total transformation. Principles to live by that have been proven over the centuries. My hope and prayer is that by applying these time-tested principles, your life will be enriched to a point it spills over into the lives of those closest to you.
This book is not meant to be an all encompassing “how to” on manhood. It will start you on the correct path. Manhood is not a destination; it is a journey. Along the journey we will need many other tools and resources in order to successfully fulfill our calling to be Real Men.
Ch 1 Introduction
It’s clear that young men struggle in today’s culture. They struggle with family issues, sexual identity issues, gender identity issues, love, sex, and the list goes on. Some of these issues are aided by the lack of rites of passage in our culture. Boys don’t know when they are truly a man, therefore, they continue to act like boys on up into their 20’s and 30’s.
The culture tells them they become a man when they see a woman naked, so they search out porn to prove their manhood. Their buddies tell them when they first have sex, that’s when they’re truly a man. So they pressure girls to have sex as soon as possible. Their parents tell them they become a man when they move out on their own, so they move out and go deep into debt buying things they don’t need trying to impress their friends and live up to their parents’ standard of living.
How is “being a man” defined? Where is the line young men can cross to know when they are expected to begin thinking like and taking on the responsibilities of manhood? Young men need to know when they are looked upon as a man by the rest of society.
While knowing when to begin to act like a man is a necessary lesson, knowing how to act like a man is the other side of the same coin. Understanding the responsibilities of manhood helps young men everywhere step into the role of manhood, but often times they choose to lay that role aside when things get difficult or it begins to cost them.
How can we encourage boys to accept the role of being a man and live it out to its entirety? The answer is in teaching them the principles of manhood. When they learn to live by these principles they will have no choice but to act like a man when the time comes. I didn’t make these principles up, I’m not smart enough for that. The truth is I stole them. Well I actually borrowed them from an ancient text.
The Bible offers timeless principles that can be applied to any given situation to positively influence the outcome of that specific situation. These principles are taken directly from the text of 2 Peter 1: 3 – 9;
“3 His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4 Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. 5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith, goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. 8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting they have been cleansed from their past sins.”
Throughout the rest of this ebook we will dive deeper into the 7 principles listed in this passage of sacred scripture: goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, mutual affection, and love.
These are not the only principles the Bible has to offer which we should implement into our lives. As I have begun to take these specific seven to heart and live by them, a major positive change has taken place in my life. I know the same will happen for you. I strongly encourage you, the reader, to begin applying these seven principles and then search the Bible high and low for other principles that can further improve your life.
We will begin our journey into manhood next week by learning when we are considered a man in different cultures.