My hand grabbed the last rock, I had reached the top but I made a mistake.
I looked down. My heart began to race.
I was fifty feet up. Clinging to the face of a rock wall for dear life.
My only hope was to trust. Trust the auto belay contraption.
A deep breath and I pushed off the wall.
Free falling, my life began to flash before my eyes until the auto belay system kicked in and slowed my fall to a safe pace.
Safely back on the ground I began to breath again and tried to lower my racing heartbeat.
It was an awesomely terrifying experience. Especially for someone who is afraid of heights.
I had trust issues that day.
Okay not only that day but that situation brought my issues front and center.
It forced me to take a deeper look at my life.
Am I only relying on myself?
Do I trust anyone besides myself?
Can I count on others?
The answers to these questions often depend on the situation, as they should. What is really frightening about the answers is how little I rely on others.
I place a tremendous amount of trust in myself and no one else.
Sadly, not even God.
Yes I trust Him with my salvation and eternal security.
I often forget to trust Him in my daily life. The little decisions that add up.
I’m afraid to push off the wall and trust that He’s going to catch me.
I have trust issues and I’m working to change that.