Have you ever walked into a situation and immediately you can sense that you don’t belong there?
You shouldn’t be there.
I’ve been in a few of those situations in my life. Moments when I’m way out of my element. Times when I feel out of place.
I think to myself, “I shouldn’t be here.”
That’s where I’m at in my relationship with God. I keep thinking, “I shouldn’t be here.”
I don’t deserve to be here. I’m out of my natural environment.
I still can’t wrap my head around God wanting, desiring, craving a relationship with me.
I shouldn’t be here with God. I shouldn’t be forgiven, shown grace, loved, and I definitely shouldn’t be allowed to speak the word of God. Yet, that’s exactly where I’m at with God.
I don’t understand it. I can’t comprehend it. God chose to search me out. Raise my life up from sin and death.
He chose to use me to reach others.
To have a part in changing lives. To participate in spreading the Good News of Jesus Christ.
I’m in awe of the fact that God would pursue a relationship with me. Despite me turning away time and time again, He still pursues.
I shouldn’t be here.
I should be dead in my sin. In my shame. I’m out of my natural state.
My old nature calls. Let it call. I’ve experienced the wholeness that comes from a close relationship with God. I’m never going back. I don’t want to go back.
I shouldn’t be here, but I am. There’s nothing that can change that fact.